I am so exhausted and the week has literally just started.

I want to rush through and get everything done but I’m just sitting here listening to music zoning out, thinking about choreography to go with it. I made my to do list and checked my emails. That’s as far as we have gotten today and I’m hitting 3 hours in front of the computer. Well, that’s a lie. I have gotten more done than that. I don’t want to look back at this and think how lazy I am. I had to do a ton of research and sent that off. I have 4 things marked off my list, self. I’m doing alright, today. I just feel slow and tired.
I feel like I have more going on than normal but I actually think I have less this week. I usually have a few soccer games during the week and there is only one this week. Of course, I have snacks so that might be throwing me. I will be buying food for all the babies. The day before that I have a field trip with the class to the creation museum. It might be weighing on me that I am going to forget since I usually do snacks the day before. I should make the bags a few days before so it isn’t bothering me so much.
I need to check out the stuff that I was sent last week too. I haven’t really looked at it all. Hopefully I’ll get that done by tonight or tomorrow. Soccer practice tonight and shots tomorrow. Then it’s pretty free. I need to do my painting some time. But I don’t see that getting done this week. I suppose I’ll work on vacation things and normal house cleaning. Actually, this might be a good week to get my car stuff done. Assuming they can get it done in the time frame I need my car back in.
I also have this guy that promised to take me to dinner a long time ago saying he’s ready to this week. That I need to get out of my routine and he needs to get out of his so it should happen. I mean, sometimes I think I should get out of my routine but out of the couple days I don’t have the kiddo. I am still trying to get things done or I sleep and wait for love to come back to me. I don’t think I am ready to break routine. Is this weird? As stressed and tired as I am, stepping out of routine feels wrong. Love needs to be right there beside me, like he is everyday, being sassy and giving me grey hair.
I feel like the more I think about it the more I refuse to date. I keep raising standards. I’m not sure if it is fair but I do what I want to do. I can be the princess locked in the castle. Y’all just gonna have to figure out how to get to me. I can’t say that it is going to be easy. So good luck.
Any who
I guess we will see how much I get done this week without having much going on. Eventually I’ll post my to do list so you can see what I got going on and why I stay so busy with myself. Maybe at the end of the week I post it and show what I got completed. That seems like a fair trade.


Talking out loud

I need a moment to step back and think for a second.

There are moments in your life where you react to something and as you get older, you think back of how you reacted and how it affected where you are. You know, man if I didn’t sneak out when I was 15 then I wouldn’t of had the most embarrassing, verbal beat down, from my mom in public. This literally happened to me. I went to Wal-Mart (of all places) and I got caught. She walked beside me screaming all the way out with people stopping to watch my verbal beat down. I began to walk home with her driving beside me still screaming until I gave in and got in the car. This story still makes me cringe every time that it is brought up. I’ve blocked it from my memory because it is so excruciating for me to live through that much.
On the other hand, I question if my mom and I would be quite as open as we are with each other. There isn’t much that I don’t keep from her. I may delay telling her until after I’ve done it. I mean, come on, if I told my mom I was going on a date or out to me some guy for the first time; She would have me so embarrassed and flustered I wouldn’t know how to act. Yes, sadly after all this time, my mom can still embarrass me. It takes much more work than earlier in my life but she still can get me. I can see me going up to the guy and saying something like my mom said to bring some lube cause we should have fun. Just face palm, the filter didn’t pick it up and block it.
My filter really doesn’t work to begin with but I can see this going down in flames a lot faster than a pretend scenario in my head. Some things are just better left unsaid. Some things just need to wait.

So, my life is alright right now. Not terrible, it can always get better. That’s just part of life. I met a  guy. He’s pretty funny, chill, seems like a genuine person-which is good. We haven’t been on a date or anything cause hashtag mom life. I’m super busy with me and my kiddo. That’s cool too, he acts like he’s pretty patient.
I’m just going to talk out loud here, complain a tad. I feel like our conversations are going good and, to me, he just sorta hints-like I’m not even sure if I can describe it right-I guess, like he gets off on himself. Like when all you can say that you like about me is that I have a good sense of humor, I just feel like I really have lost it at this point and have nothing to offer you but a sincere friendship. Great, I am a funny person. You should know me better by this point and think that there is more to me than that.
You know that Toby Keith song, I wanna talk about me? If you don’t, let me break it down for you. It’s probably the best way to tell someone to stfu. Don’t get me wrong, he knows the hard cover of me kinda; What he has skimmed over is the basis of me. He knows I have a deep love for Star Wars and more specifically centered towards Anakin/Vader. I like to play board games and card games. I’m an early bird. I have food allergies. Plus a couple other really random things like I tear my sandwiches up into fourths and I am a super picky eater that eats bizarre foods and my favorite mythical creature. Just really surface level things about me that make no difference and can change in a second. Ok, you’re right, the food allergy isn’t going to change in a second but I am taking shots for them. That’s beside the point of this right now.
He has only made one push to talk about me and i replied back that he knew everything. He knows that’s not true, I know that’s not true, even you know that’s not true. He just let it drop and we talked about him more. Maybe I am being over dramatic, probably am without a doubt, but this isn’t a game we play like hopscotch, just jumping from one person to another until we’re tired. I don’t want to make a game out of it. I’d just rather not.
I’m can’t help it. If I don’t feel like you are interested then I am not going to put forth much of an effort. Now let me get to the part that really gets under my skin. He has this tendency to say things dismissively and if it is upsetting to me then no, it was not intended in that purpose. I got upset that he got dismissive with me and he played it off like I misunderstood him. So I told him no I was really angry and he said that he was agreeing with what I had said in the conversation so I got dismissive with him and his come back to me was you always get grumpy pants this easy?
To me, in my complete opinion, I read- wow way to turn into a bitch fast. Just my opinion; He could had entirely been a man in his 30’s asking me in a baby voice whos getting grumpy pants? yes, you is. yes you is. You just never know via texting. Tone is hard to decipher when you don’t know someone well and occasionally if you do. I can’t see your face or hear your voice, I’m only reading what you put out for me.
I’m just thinking this dating thing is too hard and absolutely not for me in any way, shape or form. I don’t have time to put into trying to get someone interested in me. Frankly, I just don’t care enough if I haven’t grabbed your attention enough. I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m a hidden romantic and what I mean by this is I want to be swept off me feet and have a happily ever after but I don’t know if love actually exists or if it is a story.
How are you supposed to know when you find your soul mate? You just don’t know. There isn’t a great sign sent to us. Little fairies jumping up and down screaming this is the one! this is the one! in their squeaky little chipmunk voices only you can hear and fireworks shooting off behind the person. I feel like that would be super handy though. Someone should invent this.
When I see a guy start going in slow motion and he instantly falls in love with me and he truly can not live his life without me and just knowing my kid makes his life better; then I will believe that love exists in the real world. I don’t want to make the effort for once. I want someone to want me to where their effort extends all around me. I don’t even think that I could describe what I want because it doesn’t exist.
I do think that love is evident in the world, maybe I should elaborate on this more. There is Maternal and Paternal love. That is the strongest love present. Parents fight other parents trying to protect their children, even if their child was in the wrong. The love that parents have is eternal and I know parents that celebrate their children that, sadly, didn’t make it too long in the world. They grieved and now they have a celebration on birthdays and anniversaries thanking and praising for the time that they did get to know the sweet little one, even if it was cut short. Then I think there is platonic love which is the most common love out there. Something that you share with everyone; Friends, family, basically the people that you would put your life down for. I’m not sure that there is romantic love but merely lust. A desire for someone sexually and we aren’t getting into that.
Now, in Cuento De Jac, I want to say that my prince charming is tall with brown hair and brown eyes buttt as I’ve gotten older I have to say my taste is changing slightly. Principe De Jac is still tall but with dark brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. He has some stubble cause he was busy saving the world and a hero doesn’t have a lot of time to shave. He has very large hands that easily hold mine. He smells like the wind on a warm day from being atop the back of his trusty steed. He’s very smart because I need someone who challenges me mentally but he’s charming and lets me win everything because I’m me and that makes him happy. Obviously he is very funny because I write stories about him and he just smiles and says that’s totally me babe.
So in reality, I have seen one, maybe two, guys that look like this. One being Nyle Dimarco (sweet baby..even if you know what he looks like, take this time to google and appreciate.)  and the other I know fairly well and I am not dropping any names. If you know, you know; If you don’t, sorry about it. Obviously, neither are compatible for me. I’m happy with my fairy tale world and being in here with what I actually want versus not.
[Disclaimer: that I have no idea what Nyle smells like, the actually size of his hands or his personality. I will also disclaim that I will not bring up the other person in question of Cuento De Jac in any type of description further than what has been said. No you don’t need to know his hand size cause I actually don’t know that and no you also don’t need to know what his personality is like because reasons. Thank you for you time.]

I guess until we have a way to make fairy tales real, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing; waiting and making him more unrealistic in the world we live in today. I’m in no hurry and I’m pretty creative. Just so you know, dream man, I won’t let you down. I ‘ll keep sticking up for myself until your here to do it for me. Fingers crossed-We meet soon.

Product Review- Thin Botanicals Body Wrap

I received another product to test out and do a review on. I’m not going to lie, I was very eager and excited to try this out. Thin Botanicals sent a package of 5 body wraps to apply as directed. The package is very simple; a cardboard sleeve with 5 self adhesive sheets in a clear wrapper.
With these body wraps, all you do to prep is wash off your stomach (I like having a clean area). Then you peel off the back of the wrap and apply to your stomach. It sits for 6-8 hours which is very simple.
Now that this has been said, I’m going to back up to the area of pulling off the back and applying the wrap to your stomach. It is quite literally like applying a band-aid to your body and hoping that you did a good job covering what you want covered. I’m not a little girl but I am not enormous either, I wear a size 14 in jeans and they fit comfortable. Loose in the waist so I can bend and move but they aren’t falling down to my knees. Trying to get this to cover my lower stomach was a test. By the end of it, I gave up and just place it centered on my belly button; Forget about that baby pooch. I read some of the other reviews and they said that they had trouble getting theirs to cover their stomachs as well. Not in length like I did but in width, whereas mine went straight over to my hips.
It was comfortable to wear. I was able to move and bend without really noticing that it was there. I didn’t notice that I was sweating crazy amounts. It only covers the front of your stomach so I was able to breathe and not suffocate. Wearing it was super convenient and didn’t get in the way of my normal everyday activities.
Then came the time to take this off. Yeowzah! I applaud all you out there that get your body waxed in whatever form. As soon as I started pulling the giant band-aid, it brought tears to my eyes. You know you can’t just leave it sitting on your body so I had to muster the courage the pull it off. I’m not sure how long it took me because remember this is covering my torso. By the time I am done, my stomach is bright pink and on fire. What little baby hair I did have on my stomach is gone now.
It did tighten my stomach; I noticed the firmness. Can’t say that it was from the wrap or the work out of my tightening my core before I ripped a little more wrap back from the skin.
I can say that I will probably not finish this because I am terrified to even attempt to put another one back on my stomach. If you are brave enough to have your skin ripped and pulled for this body wrap, it seems like it works. You let me know how it goes and I’ll be over here nursing my band aid burn.
Here is the link to check them out and purchase:

Thin Botanicals Body Wraps

Creative writing: Safer

“No, I said we were safer, not safe.”
The beads of sweat that had pooled on his forehead began to stream down the sides of his face and drip to his chest. His breaths are deep and steady to keep quite and we are almost in sink. Only I am having more trouble keeping mine steady and each exhale comes out shaky. The heat is sticky and makes me uncomfortable but the trees that tower above us provide enough shade from the sun.
Our backs are pressed against the coolness of this boulder, as we listen for footsteps to approach. The dampness from the icy streams soaking into our clothes is refreshing to me. I close my eyes and tilt my head back onto the rock letting the icy water absorb in my hair too. I let my head roll to the left and look down into the small river leading into a cave. The sunlight glimmers off the water as it makes waves moving down the small path, letting me see small parts of the cave wall.
I roll my head back to him and hes looking down into the cave too. His full lips come to a smile as his blue eyes move to mine. We’ve been running for a couple days now and his beard is filling out, matching his brown hair that he has kept short for as long as I’ve known him. My frame is small in comparison to him beside me. My arms are completely flat beside me and his is hand holding my wrist, making sure not to lose me if we have to take off running again. Our bodies are tired but too tense to ease into relaxation, for even a brief moment.
A slight breeze makes my blonde hair blow towards him and he reaches out to tuck it behind my ear. He shifts his eyes back to the cave, squinting them. I still hear nothing but the water dripping around us and I don’t want to move in case they are listening for us. I remember the day that James came running to me and told me to trust him and to remember when he put his hand in mine just to run and he wouldn’t let me go. He has been my best friend growing up and there hasn’t been a time that he hasn’t been there to protect me. I have no idea why these guys in the white suits are after us. He only says he has heard rumors so scary that he refuses to tell me.
James stands up, pulling me to my feet without any effort. I barely come to the top of his chest, as I tip my head back to look up to his face, questioning our next move. He puts his finger up to his lip to remind me to keep quiet and not move. He slowly moves around the rock to check for movement. He grabs my hand, leading me towards the cave, pointing down to spots that he is stepping on. I watch carefully, mimicking the best I can without much noise.
The cave is much cooler and almost instantly gives my body a chill.  It is very dim and the light that was allowing me to see the cave wall is all that is entering. I slide my back against the wall watching the shadow of the water glide past us. James sits down beside me and I can feel him staring at me. I pull my knees up to my chest and let out a small sigh.
“Are we still safer?” I spoke to my knees, making my voice smaller.
“Anna.” he leans in closer to me, putting his head on my shoulder. “Yeah, I think we’re safer in here than out there.”
I can tell he’s tired, his voice sounds tired. Not as in he needs to go to sleep but more he is exhausted from running from people for no reason. I feel like he wants to give up but he’s to scared of them so he keeps running.
We sat there listening to the birds sing lullabies to the world as the sun disappeared. The moon faintly shines down on the water letting us know it was watching over us. All that surrounded us was the crickets chirping and darkness. The water that had kept my attention most of the day also seems to have gotten quieter, like it had stopped moving. I haven’t heard James move since we laid down so I put my arm out in the darkness to feel his face. His beard is rough against my hand and I can feel him give a short lived smile before resting his face again. Just like the earth had drifted away to night, I drifted away to sleep. Slowly then Completely.
The light burned my eyes. I feel like I’m spinning and falling, I don’t exactly comprehend what is going on until I hear James grunt in pain. My eyes flash open and they have him pinned down on his stomach. He’s fighting with everything in him to get free from the men in the white suits. I gasp and jolt up as they place the brown cloth bag over his head. Before I can even get the lower half of my body up from the dirt floor, the pain echos through body.
I fall forward, drawing in a breath so deep that my lungs feel caked with mud. There are men scrambling to get me contained now. A hand presses hard down between my shoulder blades bringing my arms up behind me and i wince, unable to hold back the tears that are making trails down my cheeks. They roll my to my back, leaving me laying where I am. I still hear him fighting, trying to break free with everything in him, trying to make his way to me. I roll my head back so I can see him. All I see is them breaking him down, making him weaker by the second.
I look back up and there is one leaning down close to me. His presence sends a shock through my body and I’m shaking, I’m already losing my focus. He stares at me for what feels like an eternity, never removing his helmet. He lifts his hands up and releases a hatch. Air hisses from around his helmet and clicks free from his suit. He smells of death and my breathing becomes just as unsteady as my trembling body. My eyes follow his helmet as he sits it right beside my head. My eyes shift to his which are now right in front of my face. The hollowness drags something from inside me in them and I can feel a piece of me being lost. He laughs as his eyes glow a deep blood red. I am no longer safe and I can no longer fight. A scream that scares me races from my mouth and echoes in the cave erasing everything that I know, only leaving blackness.

I struggled with this; I wanted to make it a lot longer but with the creative writing posts that I am going to do here, I’m going to try and keep them relatively short. I had a lot more that I cut out of it and I’m sure as you read stories that I write you’ll learn that I really love details. I want to work on not having as much detail but having an interesting story as well. I’ll progress as I go along, that’s the purpose of writing. I hope that it was at least semi entertaining!


Ever had one of those days were you knew that you were going to get mad and once you did everything just spiraled out of control? There are things that we can’t avoid and I had to encounter one of those things today and it just started me in an awful mood. Which, of course, that domino-ed into a worse mood.
Days like this make me want to leave and find a new quite little town to start over in. I wonder how many people actually hit that phase and just leave and do it. They are so done with the crap that they have to put up with, they’re just gone the next day.
How many things actually have to fall down on you to make you leave what you have and go on to find better things for your self? I occasionally ask myself if I am any where close to that breaking point or if I will wake up again tomorrow and keep on going with the same garbage that life is dragging me through. Actually, is it even life because the responses I get from some people make me question if it isn’t just the people that I need to go ahead and weed out of my life.
I’m sure more dominoes will topple over and I will go on about things the same way that I normally do. Man, do I wish I could air my dirty laundry…maybe another time. There is no need for the vulgar words today.

Retrospective Perspective

Retrospective: Looking back artistically at ones life work.
Perspective:  The state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one/ a mental view

We all need to look back at our accomplishments and acknowledge the success and failure. The time it took to take each step that led us to where we are. The joy and sadness that carried us through time.

I am not anywhere close to where I want to be with my life achievements. I doubt many of us really are. I know that I still have a lot of struggling to do so I can get where I want to be. I also know that I have to let go a little more too. You know that picture that shows the hand holding on to the rope as tight as it can and it is literally hurting it, so it lets go. Sometimes I feel like, in some part of my life, I am struggling like that. It can vary from day to day but I am never brave enough to let go. My rope has gotten so long that I can’t even see what is on the other side anymore. I just look out and there is a rope pulled tight and nothingness.
Am I fighting against myself at this point? I don’t really know. Sometimes I can feel the rope slipping and i get right to the verge of letting go and then I think about that mysteriousness on the other side. How will it know if I let go? Will it get hurt because it can’t see me either or can it see me? I think the rope holds too many questions for me to let go of completely.

I can’t tell you how long my best friend and I sat here at my desk. Discussing our schedules, working on projects, watching hilarious videos. I am extremely grateful for her and it goes beyond the few reasons that I will mention. Not only does she influence me creatively and help me release my energy in what I am doing but she is one thousand percent supportive. You typically won’t find someone that pushes you to go after what you want as hard as she does. Even when she hates the way that I am going about things, don’t get me wrong she lets me know that she doesn’t approve, but still is eager to help give me directions in the way that she thinks I should be doing something.
This also goes hand in hand with my emotions. She knows me to a point that she pushes me to go after what she knows makes me happy and tries to cheer me up when I am down. Just a side note for you reading this, I am a complete loner when I am sad. I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, and please stop breathing my air. Yes, do the figuration on how she cheers me up when I am down because it involves a bucket of sprinkles, sad movies, and lots of hiking and walking.
Trying to be around me is a roller coaster ride. I honestly wouldn’t hang out with me. I’m ridiculously goofy and laugh loud when I am in a good mood which requires uncontrollable hopping, skipping, and dancing. When I am angry, I think I am in control of my emotions but usually if someone tries to talk to me I end up even more upset and cry- scream.. Yes, that is as scary as it sounds. When I’m content, I’m really just chill and mellow. Pretty quite and have nothing to say most of the time.
How did I get off topic and talking about my emotions?
Anywho, we did this thing for our friendiversary a few years back. We both got a small notebook and filled it with our favorite memories that we had with each other. There were pictures but most of them were drawn by hand because, you know, you don’t have time to stop and take pictures. I am a pro at drawing stick figures. I’m just going to put that out there. You need a stick man drawn? Come to me, I am the one you need. Although my best friend is the best artist I know.
Not just in drawing but in all mediums that she goes up against. My favorite is watching her paint. She gets so into it and you can see her pouring her thoughts out with it. She is a true skeptic of herself and her artwork though. All artists are I think. I can envision Edvard Munch or Van Gogh looking at their art work like I can’t show anyone this, this doesn’t even look realistic.
That’s the great thing about art, people tend to over look what’s there.  Imperfections make it unique and there isn’t any other thing in the world that could replicate it. The art is supposed to move you and make you feel something. I can look at The Old Guitarist and get something completely different than anyone. I already know my best friend and I see different things in art and it influences us in different ways. Wanna know what I see when I look at The Old Guitarist? I see someone that is so in love with their dreams that they have pursued and chased them until it made them ragged. He tired and he is beaten down but he is still going. Each piece of art makes every single person see something different and feel something different. Art is something that we don’t appreciate enough of.

This year, for my resolution, I decided and have be working on finding who I am as an individual. This is a hard journey. I’m still don’t even know what my favorite food is… I have been shoving my self in situations that I am not comfortable in. I can not stand being blocked in a room by a human barricade. ( This is not what it sound like. We had gone out to a Chinese buffet and it got crowded and people were standing in the aisle next to our table, which blocked me in, so I panicked.) I don’t like trying new things at all but this one has been pretty easy to get over. You just do it and go on with yourself. I’m scared of heights and of course I’m riding escalators and scary things. I still hold my breath and count when I get on an elevator. If you see someone like that, it’s probably me. I want to conquer my fears so I can literally say that nothing can hold me back.
The positive to this has been I’ve had her there talking me through, poking fun of me to help loosen me up some and giving me advice to calm down. The scooting back in off of panic is the hardest part of the whole thing. It’s not a quick process and I hope that I haven’t been too much of a downer. We are identical in some things and polar opposites in others. She is a thrill seeker, trying to keep up is scary. I’m sure I push her wherever she isn’t comfortable but she just seemed to roll with it a lot better than I do.
Looking back at our lives and thinking about all the crazy things that we have done, I don’t think I would had ever stepped out this far in my life. I think my life would had gone in a completely different direction. I wouldn’t attempt to do things that I do now. From a retrospective perspective, the impact she has left on my life has been good and balanced me out.

Product Review- Soccer Ball Pendant

The Awesome group at Dee Zee Global sent me the silver- tone with black crystal pave soccer ball pendant 18″ Necklace to try out. I was super excited to get it and wear it considering my son is into soccer and all. More-so, I saw the picture of it and was like immediately drawn in because it really is just beautiful.
Let me just start off by saying that I am in love with this necklace. From the second that I got the package, the excitement could not be contained. I already act like a child at heart but this was like getting a package for Christmas and knowing exactly what Santa gave you. It wasn’t really wrapped up special, just came in the clear plastic with the cardboard back; the typical packaging for necklaces from a convenience store.
I got it before I went to go pick up my son for school so I put it on and naturally stared at myself in the mirror for a while admiring how good it looked on me. Also, I do crazy things when I get sent products, imagining all the ways that it would be worn and if it could get damaged how I could do that but by being careful. I try to put myself in several different shoes to cover all areas. With that being said, I gently tugged at it to make sure the chain wasn’t weak and would snap. I swung the soccer pendant around my neck a couple of time to make sure it wouldn’t break loose. Weird stuff like that, which we all do without actually knowing we do it.
When I got to school I have 3 people compliment me on the necklace and how pretty it was. I don’t know about y’all but it makes me feel good when people are talking about something that I have got going on, especially when it’s new. My kiddo gets out and we are walking to the car and he’s just going on and on telling me about his day and asking me why the moon is out during the day again. Just the normal conversation that we have every day when he gets out of school. I lean in to buckle him in and he grabs the necklace and says “Mom, you got this for me. Let me wear it home.” as he casually pulls me closer to his face. I tell him that it is mine and it is designed for girls specifically and he gets upset. He then proceeds to tell me that it’s not fair and he plays soccer so he should get to wear it. To get him back on track I remind him that we have a soccer game that night and he is happy again.
We make it to soccer and I have several more people bring the necklace up and talk about it. Yay! I am feeling good about myself. So there is a huge thank you to Dee Zee Global because this piece is really awesome. There isn’t anything that I don’t love about it.
There are too loops to hook into to change the length. The furthest loop has the pendant sitting right at the top of my chest where a scoop neck would start and the closest loop lets the pendant rest right in the middle of my chest. I like this look the best because it isn’t trying to slide down in your shirt when you slouch and if you have a higher neckline shirt like a t-shirt it sits at a good distance from the neckline.
The soccer ball sets flush to your body which I also like a lot. I don’t feel like I need to constantly need to touch it and make sure that it is the correct way. It also doesn’t roll away and pretty much stays right in the center of your chest where you placed it. You can’t argue that you like chasing your necklaces around all day and making sure that it is positioned in the correct way.
Where the crystals are placed helps it catch the sunlight perfectly and give you a little glimmer. I think that is what is so eye-catching about it. Even before you buy it, you look at the crystals and you get caught.
If you want to take a look and maybe are even interested in the necklace, check it out on Amazon!

Soccer Ball Pendant Necklace

Hey, Y’all

I’ve been wanting to start a blog for a while. Not for any real reason; I suppose, mostly, I love keeping journals and writing. I want a way to put my voice out there creatively and give myself someone to talk to. Whether or not any one is actually listening. I’m hoping some are. Life throws crazy things at us and I feel like it would help me improve on myself in many ways by having a blog space.
I will start off by mentioning a few things about myself. I have a little boy who is in elementary school. He keeps me running and completely out of energy but I am not sure where my life would be without him. I have a huge family; I am talking bigger than the Kardashians. I have two birth sisters, two step brothers, two step sisters, and a nephew that is being completely raised as if he were my birth brother. Most of us are pretty close but with all families there is some tension and breakage. It is sad but it also helps you learn and work from the place you once were.
My baby sister is the one that I am the closest with. It is weird to think that out of everyone in your entire family the person that you would have the closest relationship with is someone that you have almost a 10 year gap with. My family is weird and out there and does not hesitate to embarrass you the moment that they get the chance but its what keeps me grounded in the world. It’s probably taught me never to take things to seriously, always make sure that you laugh until it hurts, and most importantly always be on your guard when you are in the lingerie section with your Uncle.
I spend my time running from soccer games to goat and horse shows with my little boy. It’s kind of a odd thing to do and something that you don’t exactly plan on doing when you are “planning” your life as a child. Somehow, we all think that we are going to be famous housewives that get paid to look beautiful to sit at home and never worry about anything, yet each of us still had this dream that we wanted to achieve as well. Some kids dreamed of becoming doctors and saving thousands, others dreamed of going to space, I dreamed of becoming a writer. (Obviously on the side of my luxurious life being a beautiful, paid stay at home mommy while my husband was out saving the world!)
I decided that I wanted to become a writer in second grade when my assistant teacher started having us write made up stories to improve our vocabulary. Each day that you wrote a new story you got to get a treat out of the candy bowl. It was total bribery but I remember when it hit me that this was what I wanted to do. It was like she unlocked this whole new world that I could hide in and only let who I wanted to come in. I only wrote about puppies and cats back then but I have finally upgraded to people. When it comes to my writing, I’m extremely self judgmental. There is always something that can be improved. That’s just how I have always seen everything in life and I have a hard time letting people read what I write without panicking and talking about how I can change it.
If you are curious about what else I do in my life, I spend some of my free time reviewing products and I’ll probably talk about them here because hey, blog. What else you supposed to do?
I don’t really know what else to say but I’m sure if you follow along with me, you’ll find out more than you want to.