Thoughtful Thursday- Present

“The future depends on what we do in the present.”

You can only steer you life in the direction that you want. If you are happy where you are then don’t do anything. If you want to see change in your life you have to start today. What we want takes a decision from yourself to change the course of how your life is going.

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Q&A Monday- Letter to self

Write a letter to your 5 year old self
Dear 5 year old me,
So there are a bunch of cool changes happening. You’re in a new house and you have a huge back yard. Make sure you wear shoes cause you’re going to find out that you are allergic to bees and I know how much you love being barefoot.
School starts this year too. It’s ok to be afraid but you will really like it. Your teacher is such a nice person and really takes care of you and your friends. You will eventually get to see your teachers assistant again because she moves up to middle school and watches over your nephew. She’s also such a good lady.
You keep having fun. This is a good year and you will have lots of fun. Continue to play out in the sun, race your dog back and forth across the yard and swim lots and lots. Just learn that its ok to be scared of some things but don’t let them hold you back.
Love,
Future you

Thoughtful Thursday-One and the same

“Inspiration and genius- one and the same.”

Have you ever thought about what it takes to inspire someone? I can’t even begin to answer how to inspire someone because we all have issues that we go through but I think that if you have a clear mind and take steps at overcoming whatever is attacking you is inspiring. Showing people that it takes time and patience to get somewhere but it is do-able is an inspiration. Many people think that some issues are so large that they will never overcome them. I know that there have been many issues that I have had that seemed like I would never overcome them but I did.
I think same go for getting into certain careers that it takes that same mentality and sometimes you need to see that people started from the same place you did. It can feel like you will never get there and things just keep showing up in the way.
So inspiration is easily given but it takes a genius to  show that it is hard and really takes a lot of work to get over anything or to get where you want; That it doesn’t really happen overnight.

Q&A Monday- Redos

If you could start your life over, what three things would you change?
I mean I am pretty content with where I am in life. I want to be further in things in my life but I don’t think I would do much different. If I need to make the choices though, I think I would had pushed myself to try a lot more things instead of my wondering what it would had been like and checking to see how to do it now. I would probably would learned more from my dad. He loved being in the kitchen and cooking and I’m just now wanted to deepen my cooking knowledge. I can bake pretty well like my mom but I want to know how to do more stove top dishes. Finally I don’t think that I would had ever stopped writing poems and shirt stories. I really did a lot of that in middle school and at the beginning of high school but I wanted a social life so I stopped and got really involved with school work. But writing is a passion so I have picked it back up and trying to learn new techniques and I can honestly say that I can compare works and see a lot of differences.

Thoughtful Thursday- Present

“Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.”

Be thankful for today. Be thankful for what you have. There are people taking their last breath today wishing things could had been different. There are people crying because someone they love were taken from them. Never take today for granted. Today is never guaranteed and can be taken at any moment for any unexpected reason. Don’t let the people you love have a chance to go questioning whether you loved them.

Open Letter- To the past, present, and future

I saw.
You seemed to tried to hide it but I did see. Considering what this is I’m not sure how you planned to hide it from me. I always was scared of this day because I wasn’t sure how I would react or feel. I didn’t want to experience pain from the stabbing of the heart trying to rip from my chest the way it felt when I discovered that you truly were moving forward. I didn’t want to experience the loneliness and shamefulness that I felt when you came to me cause you were hurt but didn’t actually want back what I wanted but I gave into what you wanted.
I didn’t feel anything. Not even a pring of sadness tickled across my heart. No anger when it was brought up to me several times from people wanting to remind me of the past. It was just another day for me. Something that meant nothing to me and that made others excited for themselves.
I guess that is my sign that I have finally moved on and cut all the ties that I had connected. Just not caring that it happen. Not being effected by something that was there for so long.
I want to thank you though. You have been the biggest lesson of my entire life, especially since you have been there for most of it.  I thought things were going to turn out different, most of us did but you make choices in your life and it takes you elsewhere. I have learned so much about myself and there is so much more to learn. I hide myself away hoping that I could fit in that cookie cutter shape that everyone liked but I am not that cookie cutter. I am actually a really awesome person. I am kind and soft. I am slow to anger and easy to forgive. I rarely give up but I don’t let any in. I am a long laugh and a quiet cry. I am a rainbow in a hurricane. There is so much more to me than one layer.
I am worthy and perfect with plenty of imperfections. I am lovable even when the storm rages around me. This makes me valuable and I’m sorry that you never saw any value within me. I have finally seen it and eventually someone else will too. 
I’m glad you gave me my lesson. I’m not sure if it would had worked with anyone else as well.

Q&A Monday-Strange and inappropriate

What are the 3 strangest or most inappropriate sex dreams you have ever had?
This is such a funny topic to go with. One because I don’t want anyone to read this and be like I know exactly who that is or for someone in my family to be like oh, girl! Haha. But I am going to go ahead and answer this one. I have two that automatically come to my mind when I read this question so hopefully by the time I get to the end I will have a third one.
So my first one that I won’t admit has happened more than once is of this older man that I know. He is super sweet and kind and actually funny. I am very good friends with his wife and she is such a doll and I used to be pretty good friends with his youngest stepson. So if I haven’t painted the most awkward picture for you then you should also know that I met him in church and went to church with him for a long time.
Any who, I just have a pretty basic dream of us getting it on in the church and apparently we are travels because I have dreamed of having sex with him in every single room in the building. There was even a point where his wife joined in.
Next. I had this dream a couple of times and it’s really nothing weird but it is weird because of who it is. My friend really had this thing for a guy we pretty much grew up with. You know, they were soulmates and all that business. So I had this dream that he snuck in my house and we just made passionate love for eternity. Like I’ve never experienced anything this passionate. I was so embarrassed when I told her about it. She urged me to reach out and see what he would say. He was cool with just hooking up but not so much with me as a person.
Finally, this dream isn’t about me but it is about sex so just hear me out. So I have this thing where I dream something and write it down and then when it happens in reality it is straight deja vu. It scares me a little sometimes. So I had this dream quiet a few years ago about my ex and in the dream he and I were together at my moms house and there was an explosion or something that happened down the street so he told me to stay here and went to see what it was. Then an earthquake and I was still waiting but he wasn’t coming back so I went out to look for him and I looked up into a window where he was kissing this girl and bout to get down with her. I didn’t know who she was or anything but I did realize later on that she was the one that he would get together with, fall in love and almost propose to. I also recognize the analogy of my dream to my life. But yeah, that was pretty weird.

So there you go. The strangest thing you could ever know about me sexually. You are welcome, I guess.

Thoughtful Thursday-Predestined

“Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.”

This doesn’t need much explanation. People prevail when they make the choice. There have been many people that rise from nothing and make a lot out of themselves. People rise out of abusive and neglective relationships and make a good life for themselves.
Keeping yourself where you are and never letting yourself go where you want is not a way to live. It can cause you to believe that you aren’t worth anything that you want. Let it be what guides you to achieve what you want. 
Just because you were once there does not mean that you have to stay there. Go out, believe in yourself and what you do.

Q&A Monday- 10 Million

What would you do with 10 Million dollars?
What wouldn’t I do with 10 million dollars? There is a lot that can get done with that and I am not one that wants an extravagant lifestyle. I would fill my momma’s house up and help her get set in life and get rid of some of her medical bills that she has acquired over all her back issues.Then I would help my best friend with her house and get her set then buy her the one thing that she desires most out of life, a boat. I would buy some land and build my dream house and set it up so I would be able to live off the land too. I would set my kid up with college funds and then a small savings and finally donate the rest to a few organizations.
I feel like I have a pretty generic answer but this is really a life plan that I have going on. The money would just speed it along and have it done already leaving everyone I love living comfortably. That’s all I really want and my own space.